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the empty boat mindset
A monk goes out on a boat in a small lake to meditate. After a few hours of uninterrupted silence, he suddenly feels the jarring impact of another boat bumping into his. While he does not open his eyes, he feels the irritation and anger building within him. “Why would someone do that? Can’t they see me here? How dare they disturb my meditation?” He opens his…
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Disintegration
It’s no secret how much I love and adore The Cure. I always have and I always will. My favorite songs and my favorite albums are a bit fluid, and I go through phases where a particular album will mean everything to me in those moments. Some of it is nostalgia, no doubt. But more than anything, I have always been incredibly attracted to Robert Smith’s songwriting.…
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poem.
I never meant to wander here, or let my soul burst, A shadow across your riotous world. I never sought to tear your heart, To watch you recoil, so frail, From the flame I dared to burn. It waits- lurking just beyond the veil, Not in some distant place- But curled, living, at my side. It watches, hidden in the dark, A phantom in the corner of…
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#pridemonth
I recently ran across a reel on Instagram that I took a screenshot of in a moment of silliness and have found myself reading it over and over this week. I figured I may as well share it with my communuty during Pride Month, as a small reminder, I suppose. How To Respect Yourself So Others Start Respecting You Too I suppose I am at an age…
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TWENTYTWENTYFIVE
As the new year begins, I feel lighthearted and full of purpose. That sounds like such a cliche, but I have made it a goal the last few months, to work to ensure my own happiness above all else. I have ended what could be called “friends for a season” relationships without the world crashing down around me. Instead, I feel smart, and alive and capable. I…
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SONGS OF A LOST WORLD
How special that this came out at a time when I really needed some music to lean into? “Alone” is my favorite track after a month or so of listening. Robert Smith’s voice has been with me for decades and has always soothed me and accompanied rage, and trips and stumbles and suicidal ideation and love and pain and everything in between. In 2024, I often feel…
MISTER WILLIAM REILLY 